Friday, February 23, 2024

OLD but True. . . and funny!

 You Know You're Living in 2024 when...

 

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.

4. You have to LOOK through your phone for YOUR OWN phone number            because you don’t know it “by heart”!

5. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

6. You text good morning/good night to loved ones instead of calling them on the phone to talk.

7. Your reason for NOT staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses or cell phones (for texting).

8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

9. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

10. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 50) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

11. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

11. You call on the phone from your room for someone to bring you a bottle of water from the kitchen.

11. You carry your cell phone around in your pocket all day long . . . to have if you need it.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.  :)

12 You're reading this and you’re nodding and laughing.


13. Even worse, you know exactly who you are going to share this message with.

14. You are too busy to notice there are 4 #11(s) on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check how many #11(s) are on this list. 

16. You walk around looking for your cell phone only to realize you're talking on it.

17. You point your cell phone at the tv to change channels. 

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING-OUT-LOUD . . . by yourself.

Happy Friday Night, dear friends!

Monday, January 22, 2024

A Chuckle to End Your Day

 

~ ~ Stupid Short Jokes ~ ~

Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says,

"Holy S-h*** it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy S-h***... A talking muffin! 😕

~ ~ ~

"A man entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

~ ~ ~

A man: "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."

Waiter: "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

~ ~ ~

Spaghetti

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said.

The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without." 🤯


~ ~ ~


Tuesday, January 16, 2024

Another Year of Blessings

~ Happy Birthday Sweet Daughter! ~


You Are My Sunshine!


On this day somewhere back in time
God smiled on me and PaPa ~dellgirl~.

He said, "I'm sending you some sunshine,
a whole lot of joy, and a treasure beyond compare!

Take care of her, love her, and above all
enjoy her. But remember this, she is mine."

With that in mind we welcomed
the world's #1 daughter, our one and only -
DuAnne aka Jordyn.


I love you, my sunshine. You light up my life!

You made my life richer and more joyful than I could ever imagine.

Having you as my daughter is truly a precious gift from God.

Thank you, sweet daughter, for being such an inspiration in my life!

I hope your day was as special and wonderful as you are.

I wish you love, peace, happiness, and

God's Goodness & Mercy forever and ever!

 

Happy Birthday Love-of-my-Life!



Thursday, January 4, 2024

Happy New Year – To You Blog Friends

My Warmest Wishes for You, Friends!

Happy New Year! 

May your 2024 be filled with as much love as your heart can stand.

I wish you joy beyond your wildest imagination along with endless precious family moments together.

I wish that good health be constant throughout the year, and that prosperity finds its way to you and be ever present in every moment of your life.

I wish you a year filled with positivity, growth, and countless reasons to smile. Wishing you a wonderful year ahead!

Cheers to an amazing 2024!


Friday, December 29, 2023

What's Up?

 What do you see up in the sky?

I see something up there. Do you?

The Road UP Ahead

Hi and Hello to everyone. What are you up to these days?  Are your days fun and exciting or routine and mundane? Tell us please, we’d love to hear about it. What have I been up to? Same-o, same-o. I’ll leave that up to your imagination. In the meantime, let’s catch up on UP 

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding up. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing up

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things up. When it doesn't rain for awhile things dry up.

Rain in Houston

Brenda picked up her plate from the table and went outside to eat on the patio. 

You'd better go wash up, it’s time to eat dinner.

I woke up earlier than usual this morning.

Now that I’m old(er), walking up the stairs is not as easy as it used to be.

UP the Stairway to Heaven

Charlie’s mother was not happy about the note from school, Charlie was acting up in class today. 

Many people often do not live up to their full potential.

Gina’s new heater stopped working, she had to read up on the correct usage instructions. 

I grew up in the tall piney woods of East Texas, where did you grow up?

Spring time is coming up quickly, I can hardly wait!

Sue filled the glass up with cool refreshing ice tea.

The little boy had fun helping his grandfather cut up the wood for the fireplace.
Cut UP Wood

I could dream UP some more uses for UP, but I won’t.  I need to finish UP this post before I bore everybody to death. I could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP for now. My time is UP. It is way past time for me to shut UP

It's UP to you what you do with this post. If you can think of other ways to use UP, bring it UP in a comment. I’ll try to UP the ante on the next go ‘round.  

Thank you for stopping by and for reading UP on UPDo you think this post is on the UP and UP?


Tuesday, December 19, 2023

Tis The Season

~~Stress Less This Christmas~~
 Christmas is right around the corner, and I haven’t purchased one single gift . . . not for ANYONE! I’m still busy sorting and decluttering after moving. I haven’t done any decorating. No tree, no garland, and the stockings are NOT hung by the chimney AT ALL!

 I hadn’t thought much about it until my daughter offered me a small Christmas tree that she was preparing to donate to Goodwill. Then . . . a light came on in my head . . . It’s time to decorate for Christmas! That thought, along with my already convoluted “to-do” stuff, triggered something inside me . . . STRESS!

 Since I am already coping with some level of stress, I need to do something to relieve it. I learned some time ago that effective stress-relief techniques focus on relaxing the mind and the body.

For starters, I can relieve a lot of my stress by dumping limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are those things I believe about myself that place limitations on my abilities.

Question: Is it possible to relieve stress?

Answer: Yes. But, before I go on if your level of stress is serious, consult your physician. But, if you think you can take charge of your stress, here are a few things that can help.

- Learn to have a sense of humor
- Try yogano legs behind the neck here though
Aroma therapy works wonders
Exercise for 30 minutes

- Take a walk in the fresh air

-Listen to some relaxing music
- Try dance and creative movement
Eat Chocolate, eat it in moderation or open a candy bar and just smell it
Relaxation & deep breathing exercises provide immediate relief
- Take a six minute vacation (let your mind wander freely)
Communicate: talking with friends, family, a counselor, or a member of the clergy   about your feelings is a healthy way to relieve stress
- Set more realistic goals: for yourself and others (those close to you)
- Develop a hobby: writing, blogging, fishing, knitting, photography, woodworking, anything. Do something fun with your hands




Find your inner peace - - learn how to relieve your stress by finding what works best for you. 

Let us know your favorite ways to de-stress in the comments section

Monday, December 11, 2023

Really Now! . . . Christmas Already?!

Christmas Decorating Tips

                                                                                            My Photo-2012
Here we are, December 11th already, and Christmas is just around the corner. I’m NOT ready! Are you? Trying to get ready and get myself in the mood, I started thinking about where to start searching for my Christmas decorations. Ummm . . . where in the middle of all this unpacked stuff, could they possibly be?!

 While thinking about it, I checked-out a blog I started and removed from public view about Christmas Decorations & Ideas. I found some fun . . .

Christmas Decorating Tips

1.   Choose simple Christmas centerpieces. They look great despite the fact they are plain. A few candles and some red bows will transform them into instantly elegant pieces.

2.   A fast and super- easy way to decorate and add a warm holiday touch is to use a small pre-lit Christmas tree that comes already decorated. Put one in the kitchen and one in the bathroom.

3.   Arrange your Christmas figurines and candles in groups for a stunning effect. Groups of 3 or 5 will make your mantel more interesting and appealing.


4.   Water your live Christmas tree daily so it won’t dry out and become a fire hazard.

5.   Don’t limit your decorations to your Christmas tree. Use some ornaments and bows to decorate other large house plants.

Hopefully, these few tips will get your inspiration juices flowing and get you in the mood for decorating your home for Christmas. 

Monday, December 4, 2023

Monday Night Humor

                             Computer Problems


Click Image to View Source

I was having trouble with my computer. So, I called Richard, the 11-year-old next door whose bedroom looks like a Mission Control Station and asked him to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless I inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' 

Richard grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?' 

'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.' 

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T ...

I used to like that little farrt.............

Image Source Unknown

Didja gitta good laff OR NOT?!

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Stealing Time

Hello 

Yes! I'm stealing time - to post. There are several things, important things I should be doing but, I miss y’all. Hi, Hey, and Hello to you . . . one and ALL!

I really do miss you all when I’m away (from blogging). So, that's why I'm stealing this time to post this simple hello. I just had to check-in long enough to say, "Hi" to all.

Thankfully, I got a few things done while away from blogging though. I decluttered a couple of drawers and cabinets in the kitchen and in my bathroom. I threw away some items around the house that were no longer useful or needed. 

I washed, dried, and put away a couple of loads of bath towels and dish towels that had started to grow bigger and bigger. 

AND, OH . . . there’s more, but I’ll stop here. I’m getting tired all over again just writing it all down.


That done, another “something-to-do” popped up. It was important and needed immediate attention. Oh well . . . 


Anyway, that's my story. I'll be back blogging as soon as possible. 

What are you up to these days? How was your Thanksgiving? Mine was NICE, quiet, and Blessed! Thank God for that!


Wednesday, November 22, 2023

Thanksgiving Goodies

Are you ready? 


Ohhh Hardee-ha-ha-ha!
~  ~  ~  ~ ~

A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the freezer. After a few minutes the insults stop. 

The man thinks he might have killed the parrot, so he opens the freezer and takes the parrot out. The parrot is shivering. It stammers, “S-s-sorry for being r-r-rude. Please f-f-forgive me.” 

Then, after a moment, the parrot softly asks, “W-w-what exactly d-d-did the turkey do?”

Joke submitted by Ted M., Sayreville, N.J. - - - Source 

~  ~  ~  ~ ~
“If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. 

Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘Man, just be yourself.'” —Mitch Hedberg.

~  ~  ~  ~ ~

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! 

What are you doing for Thanksgiving?