Funny Stuff

A little humor to end your day.

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

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My wife called me and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”

I was a little concerned as I answered, “No.”

She said, “How about now?”

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 Q: Is Google male or female? 

A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a      suggestion.

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My grandfather died peacefully, in his sleep…

…not screaming like the passengers in his car.

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A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home.

“Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90. Please be careful!”

Herman replied, “It’s not just one car. There’s hundreds of them!”

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Make It BIG!

To have what you want, to be the person you want to be, to do what you want with your life, make it important to you.

If all the daily details of life are preventing you from reaching your goal, then your goal is not big enough. To reach your goal, make it important. Make it big.

Visualize it in your mind, not in some little corner that gets attention once or twice a week, but front and center. Mentally put your goal in the way, blocking everything else.

Whatever you must look around, in order to see something else, will happen. Whatever you cannot avoid thinking of, will get accomplished. Instead of letting life get in the way of your goal, put your goal right smack in the way of your life. 

Do you really want it? That’s the way to have it. 

Make it big in your mind, and you’ll get there.

~Ralph Marston~

"Ain't GOD GOOD?!"

"AGG"

Tired As “All-Git-Out”

Old Sayings & Old Folks’ Quotes about Being Tired:

 Have you ever been so tired you could cry? Or scream? How do you express being overly tired? Have you ever heard any of the following expressions about being tired?

- Wo’ Out - Translation: Wore out.  Tired.

- Tired as Hell – No explanation necessary.

-Tired as “all-git-out” - Translation: 5 levels above tired.

- Plain Ole’ Tired – No explanation necessary.

-Plummm Tuckered Out – 7 levels above “Plain Ole’ Tired”.

- Plummm Tired - Translation: Really Really Extremely Tired! 

- Plummm Wo’ – Translation: Really “wore out” tired. 10 levels above “Plain Ole’ Tired”.

There you have it, my random rantings about being TIRED. Enough said.

Just KNOW I’m TIRED! Plummm Wo’!!!!!

Again, I ask, How do you express being extremely tired? Have you ever heard any of these expressions on being tired?  Have you heard any odd expressions about being tired? Please share them with us in the comments section. We’d love your feedback.

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Happy Anniversary to Me & PaPa~dellgirl~

The mister, PaPa~dellgirl~, and I started 1st grade together in our little country town. I didn’t know him from “a-hole-in-the-ground”. We became better acquainted in 2^nd grade as he was a mischievous little rascal. He was a lot of fun, but devilish as all “git-out”!    

In junior high and high school we were sometimes in the same classes, sometimes we were not. We were friendly and enjoyed each other’s company whenever we were around each other.

We attended the same college. I was the only girl from our high school graduating class to go to that particular college. He started coming by my dorm room just to chat and to check on me. I was so shy I rarely left my room. If I wasn’t going to class or to the library, he knew he could find me in my room.  

During my junior year, he started taking me out to eat every once in a while. He knew I never went to the cafeteria to eat. He often took me to shop if I needed to since he had a car. Sometimes he’d simply take me out for a ride.

That was “IT” for me, I was hooked. Things got serious. The next year I graduated in May of 1969. He had another year to go since he was majoring in Mechanical Engineering. I was “done” and “ready” so, we married in July … after I graduated. And the rest is history.

Now… here we are ~ 50 years later.

Happy Anniversary to Me & PaPa~dellgirl~

July 12, 1969  -  July 12, 2019

Disclaimer: You might want to read this in a hurry because he might do something to ruffle my feathers and I will have to delete this mushy stuff. OR, I might say the wrong thing and upset his sensibilities. Then I’d have to erase all this sweet talk.

Saturday Night Humor

A little humor to end your Saturday night!

LOLL

Awww, 

Ok, I smiled ... a little.

I'm Still smiling. 

Enough already! Nothing seriously funny here tonight.

Have a Good Saturday Night!

Click Images to view source

Old Age Come Back

 I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. 

People get out of the way much faster now. 

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?  That's common sense leaving your body.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child, I thought "Nap Time" was a punishment.  Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation. 

The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have white hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year, I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English, when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age, "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for. 

Actually, I'm not complaining because I’m a Senager (Senior teenager). I have everything I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. 

I don't have to go to school. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my own car. 

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don't have acne. Life is great!

 Now, I'm wondering, did I send this to you or did you send it to me?

Fruitful Friday

Lessons From A Rose               

Roses are full of thorns. Life is full of pain.

Live your life like the rose. Spread your beauty and your fragrance, oblivious to the thorns and their potential to cause pain.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. And we could never fly. 

~Author Unknown~ 

"Ain't God GOOD"?!

What Did You Do Today?

What Did You Do Today? What about yesterday?

Here it is 8:15 pm Thursday August 1^st and I’m trying to settle down for the day. The past several months have been a complete blurrr, more so than usual. So much going on and to do, I don’t dare “Go-there”. Those are drama stories for another time.

All of these goings-on have brought to mind something that grabs my attention every time it happens. Have you ever watched a crime drama movie where the police asked a suspect where they were on a particular day (in the past) and what were they doing?

I have. I watch them all the time, they’re my favorite stuff to watch. And, it never ceases to amaze me that the police expect a full accounting of the person’s whereabouts and actions. I would be all the way “up-BLANK-creek-“without a paddle if they asked me that question. They would probably lock me up and throw away the key.

The past couple of days were extremely busy with lots of things to do while grandson Jace was away on vacation. I remember most (not all though) of what I did today. But, I couldn’t tell you one thing I did on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, even if you paid me. It’s just that bad.

Okay, enough already! I’m rambling on and ranting about much of nothing. Anyway, I forgot what I was trying to say here. Guess I’d better go regroup and get myself together.

So, what did you do today? What did you do Monday and Tuesday? What about this past weekend?

Wishing you a beautiful Friday!

Monday Motivation!

"Pray More - Worry Less" 

Quote by ~Grandson Jace~ 

My Motivation!

My Photo

This painting from grandson, Jace, was a "just because" surprise gift. It brought an instant smile to m y face. I still smile every time I pass it hanging prominently on the wall in the family room. 

Thank you, Jace! I LOVE it!

Which Way Is UP?!

Say what? I said, "Which way is UP?"

In other words, What day is it?

Do I look like I know?  Do you know? 

Ok, is that better? 

Happy Whateverday to ya'!

Click Image to view source