When Toddlers "Talk Back"
One
morning 4 year old, grandson Jace, disagreed with something I had told him to
do. He had his reasons for not wanting to do as I asked. He and I talked back
and forth about it for a minute. I stated my POV, Jace stated his POV. I listen to
him without consequence.
My
mama sat watching and listening to the whole thing with this totally
disapproving look on her face. When Jace and I finished discussing the
situation and I hadn’t “beat him to a pulp”, Mama asked, “Is he talking back to
you?”
I
answered her, “Yes, he is”. And, I left it at that. I knew her mind was
churning a mile a minute about what SHE
would have done or possibly what I should have done differently.
What
I didn’t even try to explain to her is this. Jace is an exceptionally bright
and strong-willed child. He has a mind of his own, already. He is adamant about
what he does want and more so about what he does not want. For now, I give him
the opportunity to “talk back”. I want him to let me know what’s on his mind.
I
always discuss “talking back” and what is acceptable and what is not with Jace
immediately following one of these circumstances. I plan to continue these
discussions until he is old enough and his understanding has developed to the
point where he knows what is acceptable and what is not.
My
personal opinion, for me and mine, is this. I want Jace to have a voice and not
be afraid to speak-up when he needs to. A spanking/butt whooping is not the
answer. It would serve no good purpose to spank a child and have them fear
talking to you or with you.
I
further believe that I can better help Jace by helping him understand the
difference between speaking up for himself, stating his opinions or
frustrations, and simply being disrespectful.
Do
you think kids should have a voice? Do you believe in the old, “Do What I Tell
You to do Without Question”? What are your thoughts on this?
