Saturday, June 18, 2022

Cats & Dogs

Higher Education 



A dog is so smart that his master decides to send him to college. Home for vacation, his master asks him how college is going.


"Well", says the dog, "I'm not doing too great in science and math, but I have made a lot of progress in foreign languages."

"Really!" says the master. "Say something in a foreign language."

The dog says, "Meow !"

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The Parrot

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check ."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"

"I REPEAT: 
DO-NOT-TALK-TO-MY-PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.


The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"




To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

See? Men just don't listen!!!


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27 comments:

  1. Oh my! I still can't stop laughing especially at the last one! Thanks for the goodies! Hope you and yours are having a great weekend!

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    1. Hey Nancy, it’s so good of you to stop by. Thank you for leaving this great comment. I especially thank you for taking time to stop and read it. Wishing you all the best, my friend!

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  2. Hilarious stuff! Thanks for putting a broad smile on my face.

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    1. Hey DUTA, it’s so good to see you. Thank you for the lovely comment. I especially thank you for taking time to stop and read it. Wishing you well, my friend!

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  3. LOL
    Both good stories, especially the parrot one.

    All the best Jan

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    1. Hey there, Jan. Thank you for visiting my post and thank you for taking time to leave this nice comment. That means a lot to me.

      Wishing you all the best, my friend.

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    1. Thank you for your comment. Have a pleasant day!

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  5. I just read your jokes to my granddaughter and she is smiling.

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    1. Hey there, Kay. It’s so good to see you here. Thank you for the nice comment. I especially thank you for taking time to stop and read it. Wishing you all the best!

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  6. LOL, thanks for the laughs my dear friend. Hope you're having a fabulous weekend. Stay blessed!

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    1. Thank you for the delightful comment, AJ. I especially thank you for taking time to come by and read it. Wishing you a blessed week!

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  7. Ha!! Thanks for the laugh. :) Have a blessed and wonderful day.

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    1. You're welcome and, thank you for the sweet comment and especially for taking time to visit and read here. I wish you a blessed and wonderful day also.

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  8. Great laugh! I needed that! Powerful Parrot! Linda in Kansas

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    1. Thanks so much Linda, for stopping by and for your kind words. I hope you're doing well and enjoying your day. Stay blessed always, my friend!

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  9. Finally ... Somehow I found the comments! Oh how true, true, true... lessons from a parrot! A conversation I just had today. LOL

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    1. Fay, thank you for stopping by. That’s so good of you. I am especially grateful for this smile-making comment.

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  10. Good ones! Thanks for sharing.

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    1. You're welcome. Thank you for leaving a comment. Have a great day!

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  11. Thank you so much for making me laugh! I especially enjoyed how a dog was learning a foreign language. And a parrot is so great!!!

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    1. Hey, Kaya. Thank you for your visit, I appreciate that. I am especially thankful that you always leave nice comments. That means a lot to me.

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  12. hehehe....
    beautiful word "Meow" of foreign language ....

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    1. Thank you for visiting my post and especially for leaving this nice comment.

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    2. Tanza. . . Thank you for your time. I really appreciate it.

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  13. Hope you're having a great week. I don't have a joke but I have a humorous moment that occurred while my son and grandsons were on the road visiting national parks and monuments. We were on a park shuttle in Zion National Park and Greg noticed a sign posted behind the shuttle driver. It said, "Unsolicited conversations with the driver are prohibited." My son said "I need one of those."

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I'm so glad you came by. PLEASE, let me know you were here and leave a comment.

Have a wonderful wonderful day!