New Meanings for Old Words
Are you ready to iron this out?
ARBITRATOR: n.
A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds
DOCTOR n. A
person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.
ETC. abb. An
abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do.
LIQUOR n. How
a male animal cleans his mate.
AIRHEAD
(eyr-hed) n. An act you put on when pulled over for speeding.
HAIR
DRESSER (hare dres-er) n. A magician who creates a hair style you can never
duplicate.
BAR-BE-QUE
(bar-buh-Q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes,
diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up – for the dinner
he made for his friends.
BIDE, v.
Past tense of buy.
GOAD, v.
Past tense of go
PROPHET,
n. What a greedy religious organization ultimately desires (as opposed atheism,
a non-prophet organization).
THESAURUS,
n. A dinosaur that studies words.
CONGRESS,
n. The antonym of progress.
HAMLET, n.
A small pig.
BARIUM, n.
What doctors recommend when their patients die.
BENIGN,
adj. What you be after you be eight.
NODE, v.
Past tense of knew.
SUDAFED: v.
Brought a suit against a government official.
OXYMORON,
n. Someone who is as dumb as an ox.
DISCLAIMER/WARNING:
My love of words has finally got the best of me. This information is completely
and totally PLAGIARIZED from alphaDictionary.com
So I goad to da fast food joint and bide some food from the arbitrator.
ReplyDeleteI like the very first one -- arbitrator -- the best but barium and benign caught me fancy too.
ReplyDeleteThese are hilarious
ReplyDeleteIn today's world the word Congress is appropriate! Thanks for the goodies - have a great Sunday! Be safe!
ReplyDeleteThese were good! I particularly liked the new definitions for BBQ and doctor! Have a blessed and wonderful weekend.
ReplyDeletebitter smile: doctor who kill your ill with pills and kill you with bill.
ReplyDelete# have a great weekend
Love Barium - need to work that into a tombstone name.
ReplyDeleteI find the definition of 'doctor' sadly appropriate.
ReplyDeleteThey also say that each doctor owns a small cemetery with his former patients.