Friday, September 25, 2020

Friday Night Fun - Surprising Definitions

New Meanings for Old Words

Are you ready to iron this out?

ARBITRATOR: n. A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds

DOCTOR n. A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.

ETC. abb. An abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do.

LIQUOR n. How a male animal cleans his mate.

AIRHEAD (eyr-hed) n. An act you put on when pulled over for speeding.

HAIR DRESSER (hare dres-er) n. A magician who creates a hair style you can never duplicate.

BAR-BE-QUE (bar-buh-Q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up – for the dinner he made for his friends.  

BIDE, v. Past tense of buy.

GOAD, v. Past tense of go

PROPHET, n. What a greedy religious organization ultimately desires (as opposed atheism, a non-prophet organization).

THESAURUS, n.  A dinosaur that studies words.

CONGRESS, n. The antonym of progress.

HAMLET, n. A small pig.

BARIUM, n. What doctors recommend when their patients die.

BENIGN, adj. What you be after you be eight.

NODE, v. Past tense of knew.

SUDAFED: v. Brought a suit against a government official.

OXYMORON, n. Someone who is as dumb as an ox.

DISCLAIMER/WARNING: My love of words has finally got the best of me. This information is completely and totally PLAGIARIZED from  

Happy Weekend Everyone, 

Wishing you all the best!

Stay Safe, dear friends!


  1. So I goad to da fast food joint and bide some food from the arbitrator.

  2. I like the very first one -- arbitrator -- the best but barium and benign caught me fancy too.

  3. In today's world the word Congress is appropriate! Thanks for the goodies - have a great Sunday! Be safe!

  4. These were good! I particularly liked the new definitions for BBQ and doctor! Have a blessed and wonderful weekend.

  5. bitter smile: doctor who kill your ill with pills and kill you with bill.

    # have a great weekend

  6. Love Barium - need to work that into a tombstone name.

  7. I find the definition of 'doctor' sadly appropriate.
    They also say that each doctor owns a small cemetery with his former patients.


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