Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Alpha, Bravo, Charlie


I'm on the phone, paying bills. NO! Trying ... to pay bills.

Phone conversation:

Recording: (sweetly) "Good morning. This is X-Y-Z company. What is it you would like to do today? You can say anything, like change my address or pay my bill. So. What would you like to do?

Me: "Pay my bill".

Recording: "All right, you want to pay your bill. Please say your account number."

Me: "AC one zero five five five one zero".

Recording: "All right, that was...HZ one zero nine five five one four. Is that correct?"

Me: "No".

Recording: "Okay, let's start again. Say your account number".

Me: "AC One zero five five five one zero".

Recording: "AZ One zero five five nine one zero". (He got it wrong four more times,) the fifth time . . .

Me: (Screaming at the phone ... losing all my composure. Talking loud, shouting as if to somebody three blocks away, ears burning, pulse racing, voice raising to a fever pitch) ...

"No!!! No!!! No, that's not what I said! No!! I said my number a hundred times already and... you - doggonit!!! I hate this stupid phone system!!!! This is stupid!Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! Darned x-y-z company, silly stupid automated system!!!!!"

Recording: (Calmly cooly unruffled ... sweet as you please)...

"All right, you said you want to speak to an agent. Okay, an agent will be with you shortly. Please hold for the next available agent".

Me: (Chewing paper, spitting fire, ears burning, cussing like a dirty-mouth sailor...finally breathing deeply... trying to get a grip on myself). Rating the system?! It S-U-C-K-S! Period!

That sent me in search of Police Call Letters/Police Letters Alphabet. I hope this will end some of the frustrations of being mis-understood as I read numbers and letters over the phone.

I found the following:

A=Alpha
B=Bravo
C=Charlie
D=Delta
E=Echo
F=Foxtrot
G=Golf
H=Hotel
I=India
J=Juliet
K=Kilo
L=Lima
M=Mike
N=November
O=Oscar
P=Papa
Q=Quebec
R=Romeo
S=Sierra
T=Tango
U=Uniform
V=Victor
W=Whisky
X=X-Ray
Y=Yankee
Z=Zulu

Now I can happily say, "Alpha-Charlie-one-zero-five-five-five-one-zero" and have a better chance of being understood than before.

Lawdy, lawdy, lawdy, talking about frustration!

8 comments:

Tess said...

hahahahaha -- oh, I've been there! I hate these computer automated telephone thingies. One time I answered and had a two minute conversation with it before I realized it wasn't a real person

DUH, Tess!

Lin Floyd said...

I agree with you...but don't think the alpha bit will help unless the agent has a copy of it. My mom was a telephone operator and they had their own words for ABCs

Mare said...

I have had my share of frustrating phone sagas. When I DO get a real person, I just about sing the Halleluia caorus!!

Robyn Campbell said...

Leona, I just went through this a couple of days ago. INFURIATING! Grrrrr. I hate talking to a computer. Thanks for this post.

Kay Dennison said...

Been there; done that; shredded the T-shirt in frustration. And I know what company that is because I had a similar conversation with them.

Kay said...

I think we've all been through this little bit of frustration. I was doing one of these while my husband was banging away on one of his projects and it kept throwing the computer off. Arrghh... I had to tell him to stop before I blew a fuse.

Mary Anne Gruen said...

LOL My husband and I always sound like maniacs when we make these kinds of calls. They never work well.

Herrad said...

Hi,
Happy Christmas.
Love,
Herrad